Emptiness is felt not as a burden, as a punishment Throw away my days to try to figure what the relic meant I spew out toxic feelings that could probably use embellishment Bitterness and frustration and it's always with a hellish bent Just wish I could cut away that thick fat layer of contempt in your character She says I embarrass her Today I'm in Paris Tomorrow who knows Sway in the wind in an empty gallows I just got chose I never did choose it Always knew I wanted me to make music Is it amusing? The way that I'm flailing? If you didn't know me you'd think that I'm failing

Lately I been feeling like a formless hide Tie me up then kiss me and then dunk me in formaldehyde You pounced like a playful wicked fox and I couldn't hide Saw you coming but I still kept my usual stride Had me in a death grip soon as you said I had nice locks And yes I said "fox" but it's not about *that* fox It's not about that one either Just stick your head in the heater And then you'll understand I could never be a perfect man I don't do oxymorons But I do cocky morons Or cocky morons do me The last girl that blew me Was the last girl I blew, it's called equal exchange If I say that I'm trans they'll ask about a sex change My family is just like that And they hate me cause I fight back Couldn't sleep on the flight back Too haunted by all the nights that I slept above all of them and I couldn't sleep Something's haunting this family and it might be me Couldn't see it before but now it's clear to me I almost grasped at it on Fear Of Me Tom and Jerry on the train tracks You only like me when my brain's wracked You'll probably say this is the best track You're a leech, give me my pain back

I don't play for a team but I don't play about community Bitches didn't bully me they think they got immunity Taking over everything, I do it with impunity I do what I want cause I'm never not gon get scrutiny A little plus a little sometimes may be a lot The reason that you're stuck sometimes may be a knot If you give a dog a boner she can do a lot of things I'd rather [] and then later give my apologies A part of me thinks that I'm wrong but she's a little bitch I'm trans, I'm supposed to be found in a few years in a ditch Tough luck though cause I'm not dying My greatest weakness is that I'm not crying I'm trying to- I don't know, something That's all I aim for, you know? Something Cause everybody always told me I'm gonna be nothing If I don't be what they want which to me is same as nothing Nothing else worth discussing They wanted me to be like them but I think that's disgusting

Pourquoi le vide m'appelle? Je lui ai pas donné mon numéro J'vais bien mais j'aimerais que mes potes gagnent des chèques avec quatre zéros Pour le spleen, y'a pas d'antidote y'a pas d'sérum Manque d'estime, j'rature mes textes ils sont pas assez beaux Parano je sais que le diable me guette depuis les gazebos Depuis qu'j'suis devenu qui j'voulais, ironique je sors plus trop Ils m'ont dit d'aller m'faire voir mais au final j'ai pas voulu J'parle plus trop à ma grand mère, j'sais qu'elle me voit comme un vendu Quoi qu'je fasse J'écris des bribes par çi par là et puis j'me lasse J'allais le faire avant hier mais putain le temps se tasse Je deviens c'que j'haïssais je t'avoue que c'est pas classe Bientôt le renouveau, ça sent le petrichor J'me rappelle y'a 14 ans j'matais Les Cités D'Or J'voulais être Ésteban maintenant j'veux être la meuf Mais j'peu même pas faire l'effort de mettre un pull neuf J'me métamorphose trop, ils ont cru que j'étais Ovide Je raccroche le téléphone parce que je nique le vide

Ces jours çi j'fais que dalle à part mater des films Mais j'ai pas le temps pour des connards qui manquent d'auto-estime Okay t'es le boss mais c'est qui qu'tu vois dans l'miroir? Tu contrôles bien tes gosses mais c'est quoi qu't'as planqué dans l'tiroir? On a tous dit qu'on été surpris mais en vrai j'aurai dû l'voir J'ai des crocs maintenant donc ouais mon gars j'broie plus l'noir J'sors avec mes vielles Vans, un vide, et un pull noir J'essore mes pensées avec une instru Après j'y pense plus J'ai pas encore mis le beat, pourquoi danses-tu? J'ai pas dis qu'y aurait une suite, pourquoi attends-tu? Mois j'vous aimais tous à la base, j'aimerais le rappeler Comment tu pousses un gamin après tu t'demandes qu'est ce qui l'a fait déraper? "Il courrait comme un lapin, j'me suis vu obligé d'le frapper" Ils m'appelaient tous un génie mais j'suis génie que sur le papier J'suis pas venu pour des barres, est-ce que j'ai l'air de Christian Clavier? Et puis t'sais quoi? J’m'arrête là, pas besoin d'écrire un pavé

2 years down, 3 to go I'm clearly an idiot and I should let it go I was wrong, there wasn't that much blood in the snow A little bit, but I'm insane too, I just don't let it show As much I should accept things as such 22 years old I can't use people as a crutch Or be used as a crutch Cumbersome morals made me lose my way I double fell in love in a car on a highway Frank Sinatra took Claude Francois' shit and said "imma do it my way" I sampled him and Nougaro and flipped that shit the Maude way Always did the right thing but always did it the wrong way Always write the verse in a way where I can rhyme "Maude Fey" On the trip to self acceptance I keep saying "are we there yet?" Always been a kid, and always been an embarrassment But it's embarrassing too that you can't be proud Of a beautiful loser who loves and lives loud It's hard to say shit cause it gets filtered through a shroud Don't know how I would write if I was writing for a crowd Monarch butterfly, metamorphosis no crown I don't let it sink in cause I don't want it to drown Maude the girl the boy the bear the god the bitch the hound Boutta go in orbit so guess I'll see you around I get angry, it happens a lot I don't cry, I just choke on my snot Twitter making me feel like I wasted my shot Those bitches don't like [], think I gotta log off I do musical vagueposting then wonder why I won't pop off Ridiculous Contemplated cutting all my locks off Run away and change my name and loved ones leave them blocked all Fetishizing a fresh start As if I ain't the kid that fucked up like 4 fresh starts One time I did an album that I closed with a pep talk And all my friends just told me "listen don't quit your day job" Telling Gotta learn self love for real, my self loathing ain't selling Mosquito bite, trite shite, plagued with all the swelling If a tree falls down in a forest imma find who did the felling Lots of stuff to say that I don't understand Imma get it off my chest then I can hold your hand Been a while since I wanted to be a better man They sold me a lie and I clasped it with half a hand So you can imagine when I found out that I could be who I wanted Didn't take me long to look up to America's most wanted Reasons for my actions went from tens of them to hundreds Yet I still can't figure it out I'm crippled with doubt Mirror reflects a bad bitch, but is that me? It seems that happy and fulfilled is shit I cannot be They wanted me to be successful but man that's not me Then wanted me in an asylum masked with therapy Masked AS therapy But when you hold me I see all the light we cannot see And that's enough to keep me happy with a fantasy I don't know, truthfully I just don't know And if you push me then I just might fold And your voice it sounds like silver but it's just not gold And I know you think you've lost it but you're just not old Silly

Let's take stock of what I've become It's not that nice and it's not that fun Press undo while I come undone Press undo while I come undone I still can't shake the prophecy you wrote About how I'm supposed to fall off the boat You're comfortable while I'm in smoke It figures you would build a moat After you got what you wanted Everybody always got shit to say about how I live At least I live You know? Had a sad vision of salvation Then I woke up seeing more spots than a dalmatian Gotta buy more foodstuffs Gotta go out and do stuff Gotta cut everybody off Gotta block my family and stop taking calls Let's take stock of what I've become It's not that nice and it's not that fun Press undo while I come undone I'm not a son but I'm of a gun Should I buy a gun? I might buy a gun